Written by Joshua Potts
If the robots ever defeat us, crushing our flimsy skulls into the crowd with their metal-heeled boots, at least we know they tried to make our love lives better for a while. Gadgets can bring us closer to the hubby, girlfriend, or will-we-won’t-we beau who’s flirting around the idea of something serious. They enhance what we already feel; a connection just above the wi-fi hotspot, if we’re talking priorities.
So drag those lovelorn eyes from your partner, for a moment, as we coast through five fiery, romantic tech treats.
Most of us have had that crumbling-soul moment when you’re desperate to smooch your beloved, even as he or she is 1,000 miles away, and mimed kisses over a Facetime call. Kissenger might be good for you. Sensors plug onto your phone, tracing and translating pressure from lip movement and sending it to a contact who can (almost literally) get a patented peck on the mouth. It’s at the crowdfunding stage, but who knows – it may raise $500,000 in two months.
Ever get the impression that a lover’s messages should be somewhere special – not in the same inbox as ‘RE Your Overdue Gas Bill’, or ‘We Are Coming To Get You For Said Gas Bill’? This box is a nifty alterative for speaking to each other long distance. Send a text to it, and the heart spins, the words crystallising in a mirror under the lid. It’s essentially a private communication tool for partners, like a favourite carrier pigeon during a war.
Should a French-wood box seem a little overkill, you can get another style of personal message in Between, the app on Android and iOS. Log photos, memories and calendar dates, whilst you deliberate on that perfect gif summing up the anniversary dinner menu. “These special moments,” says the website, “no matter how small, are all important in your relationship.” We can’t help but agree. Forgetful boyfriends won’t be caught out anymore, either.
Sharing a bathroom is a test for your compatibility, no doubt about it. The waterproof speaker from VicTsing is there to enliven your toothbrush routine before bed, with a snatch of Spandau Ballet or Usher through the Bluetooth link, so you can take turns on a playlist. And how about those romantic showers on Sundays? They’ll be bubblier than ever when you’re wailing to the Beach Boys, tossing a foot scrub/microphone back and forth.
We can already peek at our other half’s location via Snapchat. A real, sustained view of what they’re doing – such as a crazy hike with buddies or a visit to the parents – has been denied us till now, with the advent of Narrative. It’s a small camera that clips to your clothes and saves up to 80 minutes of video footage at a time. Think of it as a hands-free document of what you’re up to, taking a lover (almost) to eye level. This isn’t made to indulge trust issues; rather, as a ‘Hey, you were here too!’ gift, letting them see the world from the same POV.